Why is it that it’s so easy for us to say mean things to other people, while finding it so difficult to actually compliment or say something nice to someone? I don’t know if this is just me or what, but I really have a hard time saying nice things to people- not that I’m a cruel person or anything. It’s just weird for me to say things that actually show the deeper emotions floating around inside of me. For example, if we appreciate someone, we don’t say right then and there that “hey, you know what, I’m glad that we’re friends”. Saying these things take special occasions, like birthdays, or Christmas, where you write it all down on the note or letter taped to your gift.

I just realized this while I was talking to my friend last night. Both of us are kinda like this. I mean, when he says something nice, I automatically think it’s sarcastic. I know it’s wrong to judge and all, but it’s hard to change our perspective on people, especially if we’ve known them to have a certain personality for years. So we got to this topic while talking about the end of the world, as this pastor said that it would be the end of the world today. He just said up front that it’s going to be the rapture today, and he was so sure of it. This calls for partying like it’s 2012, except that we can’t because we won’t know what 2012 will be like and we won’t ever get to reach 2012 if his prediction supposedly comes true. I know this sounds crazy and all, but it just reminded me that life’s too short, and I’ve spent 19 years of my life doing nothing noteworthy and this idea saddens me.

Maybe I should start being nicer to people and saying nicer things. Maybe I should start with my family. God knows I haven’t been the best daughter/sister/niece/whatever. All I’ve been was a bitch and I really have to stop being miserable at home all the time. Then I should stop judging other people, and be nicer to them, even if I never liked them from the start. Gah, just by thinking about it, I can already imagine how hard it’s going to be, but I know that I have to change for the better. Is it the same if you just avoid the people you don’t like? 😐

So…here I am with a new resolution that I hope to follow. I don’t know what’s gonna happen here, but I think the “end of the world” might be a beginning after all.

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